Sunday, February 22, 2009


I had a really good birthday weekend. My family came from Amarillo to visit, which was really nice. I got a cake and presents, which was also fun. And Susan and I watched the Academy Awards, which was nice and relaxing.

I had to take a History exam tonight, for some reason my instructor makes us take our tests on Sundays (it's an online course)... there should be a rule against that! Tomorrow morning I have a First Aid exam. Two exams in two days... bugh!

This last Thursday, I went in with Susan when I dropped her off to sub at the high school, to introduce myself to the secretary, in hopes that she would start calling me. So far all I've had is a few middle school classes. Just as I walked in a stressed out teacher came in too. She was stressed because she had a family emergency and had to leave, and didn't have a sub lined up. So, I got to sub my first high school class! It was easy, we just watched movies all day. I never realized this, but apparently when a teacher shows a movie, if it's the same movie all day, he or she has to watch the first half of that movie up to 8 times in a row... Yeah that sucks! Luckily my teacher left me a bunch for the classes to choose from, so I got to watch the first half of October Sky, Sister Act 2, Encino Man, and Radio twice. Just watching the first half of a movie is sort of frustrating, but not as bad as having to watch the same one over and over. Anyway, that's my update.... goodnight.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy Valentine's day!

Would you like to see...

Foxes jumping on a Trampoline?

The Middle Wife

(By an Anonymous second grade teacher)

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness. Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch and stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.

"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid was doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning.

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man."

"They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!". This kid has her legs spread and her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they all said was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell-day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.

(taken from

Monday, February 09, 2009

uh oh...

That video doesn't fit... hmmm...

Hi five!

First a video...

So, I'm a huge nerd, so I think high fives are awesome. I don't know what it is about them, but it makes me smile. So last Friday, A LOT of the middle school boys high fived me when they walked in the room... and several times throughout each class. I don't know what it was about. I worried at the time that I was the butt of some kind of joke, because they would smile, walk over, and high five me, and then walk back to their desks. I still don't know if it was some kind of joke, but it made me laugh, so it's fine with me.

And now... Animals eating stuff!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Anti-theft sandwich bag

These things are genius!

And now....

This image was taken from

Saturday, February 07, 2009

My first day

My first day as a substitute teacher was awesome. It was a 7th and 8th grade computer class. I didn't really have to do much teaching, since the students just played internet games all day. I was basically just a glorified babysitter, but it was fun. I talked with some of the boys about video games, and to the girls about random stuff. Some of those girls could REALLY draw in MS Paint. I was expecting middle school kids to be all bad, or hard to control, but they weren't bad at all. No blood, no guts, no tears... I came home in one piece. I know that every day won't be that easy or as much fun, but I can only hope.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Joshua Radin's "Brand New Day"

I put this here so Susan can listen to it.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Monsters are real!!!

I just wanted to share with you a little something that I stumbled upon today while perusing the interwebs.

Looks like a closeup of some kind of bug right? NO! It's called a giant isopod! Here is some poor fool who picked one up and is probably about to be eaten alive!

Okay so in case you aren't going to have nightmares yet, here's a video.

I'm going to go crawl into my closet and hide now...

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

25 things about me

1. I love my wife more than anything. I don't think I'm very good at showing her that though. Sometimes she thinks she's bad for me, and that really hurts my feelings. I think she's made my life so much better than it was before. I put the "I love my wife" thing first because that earns those illusive "brownie points". Wait... what's a brownie point?

2. I really like to try new things, but it's really hard for me to get motivated sometimes. Once I get motivated I can be hard to stop. I guess you could say I'm pretty damn lazy. But I like it that way.

3. I love change. One of my favorite things to do is rearrange a room. It lets me clean all the places that I couldn't get to before, and basically turns it into a new room. I just did the living room this last weekend, and it's almost like having a new house.

4. I love being back in school. It took me such a long time to go back after high school. Part of that was because I couldn't figure out financial aid, part of it was fear, and a large part of it was that whole lack of motivation thing.

5. I'm slow. Not mentally. Physically... like a sloth. Susan says "look at that" and my head starts to turn immediately. By the time I "look at that" it's been gone for a while. Of course that leads to trouble with Susan :)

6. Video games are one of my favorite things. It's just nice to get away and fly a starship or fighterplane once in a while and not have to worry about bills and whatnot. One of my earliest real memories is of playing Atari at my grandparents' house.

7. I call my dad's mom, "Green Grandma". I am not sure why. I've called her this ever since before I can remember. One day I just blurted out "are we going to Green Grandma's house?", and it stuck. I think it's because she used to wear a green dress with white flowers on it, or at least she did once when I was very small.

8. Speaking of me being very small, I'm not. I'm just big. That's the best way to describe me. Big, like an elephant, a great dane, or a building. I take up a lot of space in every direction, and I like it that way. Susan say's it makes me "real".

9. I REALLY love our dogs. In particularly our Miniature Beagle / Australian Shepherd mix "Maybe". She's a very good dog. Not to say our boy "Marlowe" isn't. But Maybe is my buddy. She likes a good smell (or a bad one), she will eat anything, and she's lazy like me. I used to think I was a cat person, but we've had terrible luck with those lately.

10. I hate video montages. You know, when they play the music and show pictures and video clips. I don't really know why I hate them, I just do. Susan's watching one right now, so I thought it deserved mention.

11. I love Viking metal. Bands like Amon Amaroth. It's basically heavy metal, but they sing about viking battles and Norse mythology and what not. It's fantastic, and maybe slightly embarassing.

12. I am clumsy. I will stub, drop, break, smash, fall on anything near, attached, or around me. I have a big toe with no nail to attest to this.

13. Because of the previous thing, I DO NOT like to hold other people's babies. Don't get me wrong, I think babies are great! But I don't want to be the jerk who dropped the baby resulting in her lifetime disfigurement / disability. It terrifies me when people are like "here hold the baby!". Often I end up holding the baby because I don't like to disappoint, but it's usually several minutes of sheer terror for me, and probably the baby.

14. I like to read. I will read anything from text books to cheesy sci-fi novels. It always bothers me when someone says that they don't read, and are proud of it. Gross!

15. I really like noses. Particularly animal ones. When my dogs walk by I can't help but poke a nose. Now don't go crying animal cruelty! It's not like I walk up on them when they are sleeping and poke their noses... oh wait...

16. Speaking of animals, I also like to watch them eat! When I watch a small animal eat something it always makes me smile. I mean, have you seen the turtle eating a tomato? The rabbit eating the spinach? The python eating a real huma... wait, maybe not that one.

17. You know what I hate? Food! Well, no not food. I love food. But I hate it when little kids have it all over their faces. I think they should have to wear some sort of device that sprays it all off on command. Like when you see a child with tomato sauce all over their face, you can clap your hands 3 times and a high pressure jet of water will come out of nowhere and wash the food off. Woah... not only would that be practical, it would be HILARIOUS!

18. I love casseroles. I also love pot luck dinners. I've never figured out whether I love casseroles because you get them at pot luck dinners, or if I love pot luck dinners because they usually consist of a bunch of casseroles. But count me in either way!

19. I like to sing, but I don't know the lyrics to any song. When I say I like to sing, I mean that I just sing about everything going on around me. If you see me driving and singing, I'm not singing along with the radio, I'm probably singing about broccoli or tax exemptions. Usually I end up singing about Susan or the dogs though.

20. I like to watch people smacking into stuff. SO you can probably guess that one of my favorite shows is MXE. It's a Japanese TV show that basically has people running into giant Nerf balls, falling off stuff into water, or running into solid walls... you get the idea. It's wonderful.

21. Speaking of the Japanese... You can just put them and most of the stuff they do on my list. I won't even go into detail, just think Japanese = YAY! They have all the cool toys, robots, games... wait I guess I did make a list.

22. I have to mention those fainting goats. They are awesome. I know it sounds mean, but I want one so bad. It's just so funny to watch them fall over when you shout "boo!"

23. I like to play disc golf, or Frisbee golf. It's so relaxing to get outside and take a walk in the park, while throwing Frisbees. I don't do it often enough, and Levelland has a surprisingly good course.

24. Did I mention that I love my wife. She is incredible. She makes the best food, she sings pretty, looks pretty, takes pretty pictures, makes our house feel like home, and this list could go on and on. Anyway, Susan is the best girl in the world!

25. I'm glad this is the 25th thing on the list of 25 things. I was having a really hard time thinking of stuff to put on here. I guess if I have to list one more thing it will be miniature animals. Not dogs, but like miniature donkeys, horses, goats, pigs, and stuff like that. I wish they made miniature elephants. I don't know who "they" are, but miniature elephants should be on their list of stuff to make.

Gone Country?

Susan's aunt took us to what was my first country concert ever last weekend. It was a lot of fun! I don't know any of the songs, at least I won't admit to it, but I loved watching Susan sing and dance. I usually count mullets and mowhawks when I go to a concert, as I usually attend some sort of metal show. I figured I'd at least be able to count mullets, but no. Not one single mullet. There were a BUNCH of girls wearing very little except cowboy boots. So I just counted those instead. The artists playing at the concert were Darius "don't call me Hootie" Rucker, who Susan has a crush on. He and his new band did a bunch of new songs, and some of his old Blowfish tunes, which was pretty cool. Here's a picture of him dancing, or something, with an Xbox360 controller, which earns my respect.

Then there was Dierks Bentley, who basically sang about sex in many different ways. That was fun. And finally the headliner, uh oh... I can't remember his name. He was wearing a Star Trek shirt, which I thought was cool... but what was his name... hold on I'll go look...Brad Paisley! He put on a fun show, with lots of cool lights and videos and stuff going on all over the place. In one song they had cartoon versions of themselves running around on screens behind them and the band interacted with them. That was actually very cool. Anyway, that was my first country concert, and I had fun! The music was fun, and I might be more apt to pay attention to it from now on. But for now I think I'll stick to viking metal...

I actually had that helmet when I was little :)

Monday, February 02, 2009

Mr. Brinkley

So I'm officially a substitute teacher now. Scary huh? It's so much responsibility... I don't even know how to use a comma! My first day is going to be sooooo surreal.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

And now... Animals eating stuff!

Today we have for you, a rabbit eating parsley: